When I used to take offline sessions, I had written a line on a blackboard for the clients who came to see me. It said - “All parts of you are welcome here.” This statement is the premise of Internal Family Systems (IFS), an approach I use in my therapy work. IFS is a non-pathologizing, compassionate approach to understanding, accepting, and befriending the different parts that make us who we are.

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(Fun fact: Pixar's "Inside Out" and "Inside Out 2" are heavily based on IFS. Both the movies do a wonderful job of explaining our inner world. Go check them out, if you haven't already!)

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So what does it look like when I say - "All parts of you are welcome here?"

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First, there's a Confused part - "What do you mean ALL parts?" I welcome the confusion.

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The Moral part chips in - "You mean you welcome all the good parts, right? We're not allowing bad behaviors, are we?" I invite the moral dilemma.

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Then comes the Disbelief - "Pfft, that's not possible. How is that possible?" I welcome the disbelief, give it a chair.

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"Okay, if we're doing this, let's make sure we do it right!" says the Perfectionist. I hand him a notebook and pen. Here you go.

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The Independent part makes a wordless entrance, grabbing a seat away from everyone. I offer her a small wave. She waves back.

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"Can I come in too?" Asks Anger quietly, bringing Shame and Guilt with it. Of course, gather around. Make yourselves comfortable.

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"I don't think this is going to work", says the Hopeless part. Come, sit. Tell me more.

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"I really want this to work", whispers Hope, slowly making its way towards the table, fingers crossed.

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They start chatting, getting to know each other. Some are already acquainted, some come from different worlds. More and more parts come in. There's room for everyone at the table.

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"Hi, I need some help."

All the parts get up at once, rushing towards the little part carrying Grief.

"Give this bag to me."

"Come, hold my hand."

"Here, sit next to me."

"I got you your favorite chocolate!"

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And Love made its presence known.

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When I wrote that sign, what I really meant was -

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So come, sit.

Grab a cuppa.

It's been a long journey, put down your belongings, if only for a bit.

Tell me all about the stories you picked up on the way, I'd love to hear them.

Thank you for sharing the table with me. Thank you for being.

I'm glad you're here.